The Longest Year One-Shot
by thatpinkshinobi
Summary: Kakashi had been fighting against fate. How long would it take him to see the good things he was missing?


A/N: Hey just a little something I worked today. It had been flying around my mind and finally was able to write it down! May not be perfect, but I really felt good writing it. ((: Please leave a review!

· · · · · · · · · · ·· · · · · · · · · · · ·

Rain poured in front of them, Kakashi took it as a bad omen, nothing would be okay after that day. Sun wouldn't shine again. At least for him.

Sakura leaned against the rail, her hair falling down to one side, hiding her face from him.

"It's not going to work, right?"

Kakashi sighed. Her words ached more than he thought.

"No." He managed to say, not sure of his own voice.

The rain kept falling down.

"Thank you." Sakura turned her face slightly.

Kakashi smiled sadly, he had thaught her good. Her face was emotionless, her eyes didn't sparkle as they used to. Her pink nose betrayed her unspilled tears. He hated himself for causing her pain, but it was the best for her.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi whispered.

"Please Kakashi, just don't..." Sakura bit her lip. She mouthed a couple of times, not able to say what she was feeling. "See you around."

Sakura patted his shoulder. That would be the last time she would go through that door, the last time she would be at _their_ home.

· · · · ·

Kakashi wondered how fate worked. Once he had thought his life would be miserable, that it would end before his thirties, that he wouldn't enjoy seeing his friends getting older or he wouldn't be there to witness a life where peace existed.

Where his only worry was if he was running late for dinner.

Life was hard. Simple as it sounded, Kakashi knew it better than anyone. For the last thirty-something years he hadn't asked too much in return. He thanked for every new day, knowing that it could be the last he lived.

But life had taken an unexpected turn. A pink spark of joy.

· · · · ·

Kakashi sat on his usual spot, he wasn't aware he had a favorite place until he found himself sharing his space with someone else. Her chair rested on the other side of the coffee table, a book remained open on the seat.

Kakashi looked around his apartment.

He hadn't noticed how much she had crawled into his life, little things like the two cups on the board, the fridge full of healthy food, the set of beauty products on his bathroom. It started with a hairbrush, and it had ended with her mail delivered to his place.

Kakashi knew that one day she would be back to retrieve her things, and it would be like nothing had happened. One year faded into oblivion. Not even their friends would know about it.

· · · · ·

That had been his mistake. Kakashi thought. One of many he had done.

For the last year, he had been dating Sakura, they had decided to keep it secret until he felt comfortable with the situation. Fear was guilty of never feeling enough around her. No one knew about their secret.

Every night, while she rested between his arms, she promised him they would make it, that they would find a way to make it work. Kakashi knew she was doing all the job, leaving him with the simple task of accepting what she had to give. But again, he failed her.

· · · · ·

Being the Hokage gave you enough time to think about you had accomplished until that day. Kakashi frowned, knowing that he hadn't achieved anything other than missions and his current role. Nothing worth to mention. He had failed to his team, he had failed to his students, and now he had failed what could have been his life partner.

Whenever he thought about the good things he had done recently, all were thanks to Sakura. She had self-proclaimed his lifeguard, guiding him around, helping him from drowning in his own misery.

Kakashi appreciated all the time Sakura had spent on him, but he was not worthy. She was young and free. He wouldn't be the one to deny her the joys of life. Sakura deserved someone who protected her, someone capable of loving her unconditionally.

She didn't need an old rag, full of fears, afraid of commitment.

· · · · ·

It had been a month since he had broken Sakura's heart, Kakashi thought he would drift back to his old life. He was wrong.

Every night he woke up drenched in sweat, always the same nightmare. Kakashi awaited her reassuring touch for a fraction of second. Those seconds were worst than his dream, the deepness of his loneliness reminded him that she was gone. He as the only responsible for her going.

Kakashi looked around, those four walls, the only witnesses of his tears. Had he done the right thing? Wasn't him man enough to accept his errors and run back to her arms? How long would it be before he was driven into madness?

He knew that sooner than later, someone would knock at his door at three am, wondering what those awful noises were. How would he explain that those howls for help were his?

A shy knock on his window reminded him that he wasn't alone. Tenzō and his room would be the only witnesses of his mental break downs.

Kakashi lay down, taking her pillow, shrugging against her. The faint scent of her shampoo fading day after day.

Kakashi wished he could blame someone else for his choices, someone who he could point and accuse of all his disgraces. Someone who could take responsibility for his own actions.

Someone who could grab him by the neck and force him to see the biggest mistake of his life. Someone who could lead her back to her.

Someone who told him it wasn't too late.

· · · · ·

Kakashi sat on his office, his desk to his back and Konoha in front of his eyes. He wasn't sure how he had ended it there. His mind was working automatically for him.

People should feel proud of him, he had attended every appointment he had and worked on the papers above his desk. By the end of the day, he even had managed to visit the academy before returning to his office.

It felt like a dream, Kakashi could see himself working, but it wasn't him. It was the body of a lifeless person, just as the bodies of Edo Tensei. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt like himself, he felt obligated to continue his life, despite his efforts to end everything.

He didn't want to feel anything, and finally, he had succeeded.

· · · · ·

Kakashi felt they would be okay when he saw her hanging around with her friends. She wasn't laughing or smiling, but at least she was sharing time with people. He, on the other hand, was mourning his loss at the top of his office. Tsunade shook her head behind him.

"You are neglecting yourself," Tsunade left a bento box next to him. "She knows it too."

Knowing she still asked for him stirred his stomach. It wasn't a nice feeling.

Kakashi locked his eyes on hers. His skinny hand pushed the food away. He wondered when was the last time he had a proper meal.

"Starving yourself to death wouldn't be the brightest thing to do Kakashi," Tsunade closed her hand around his arm. "I don't know how your decision was the best choice."

"She needs to be with someone who provides her happiness," Kakashi sighed. "What if she wants a family, how can I offer her something I didn't have?"

Tsunade bit her lip.

"She's not doing good," She waited, thinking if her next words would be helpful or not. They weren't. "She misses you."

Kakashi wanted to say that he missed her too, that everything would be okay, that he wanted her to stay. That he needed her more than air, that the simple thought of having her back to his life would be the greatest accomplishment of his life. That he would die for her, as long as she came back to his life.

Kakashi sighed. Hating his mixed feelings.

"I'm not sure how to feel about it."

He wouldn't be lying again, he needed her back.

· · · · ·

Tsunade hid her smile from Kakashi. It had taken the dumbass six months to realize he loved her. Six months were she had seen him lost all of his will and his health. The way his cloak hanged around his bony shoulders made her shudder. He had it worse than her student.

Neither Kakashi or Sakura knew that Tsunade was aware of their relationship. She had seen it coming and expected it to end on a wedding and babies. But not even her had counted with the closed mind of the silver-haired man, the obnoxious little brat had been so selfish to let Sakura into his heart.

And now she had two broken hearts leading the safety of the village.

She needed a plan, she needed to do it now.

"Come on Kakashi walk with me..." Tsunade took the bento box and tugged his hand to the door. "Did I ever told you I was in love with Jiraiya?"

Tsunade smiled sadly. She wouldn't let them commit the same mistake.

· · · · ·

When Kakashi though things were getting better, rumors started to reach his ears. His world sank deep into the pit.

The Godaime's apprentice was getting married.

Everything started after Sakura left for an extended mission to Suna. She had spent six months around their children hospital and secret missions with the Kazekage.

Shikamaru had been the first person to end the rumors.

"She's marrying Kankuro."

Kakashi didn't need the background story. Any man would die to marry her. Even him.

For the last six months, he had worked on his mental health, Tsunade had provided enough guidance, helping him to feel confident about him and Sakura. Even hopeful. He knew he was on the right path to fulfill her needs, he wouldn't hide in the shadows like the last time. He loved her.

"...she's not coming back."

All his hard work would be for nothing. He had missed the opportunity that fate had given him.

"Out," Kakashi growled.

· · · · ·

Shikamaru was a smart person. He didn't need to be told twice, he left the room, closing the door behind him.

It didn't matter that Kakashi wasn't on his best form, he still could be lethal. Not for nothing, he was the Hokage.

Tsunade leaned against the wall, shaking her head. The sound of obscenities being yelled filled the air. A series of noises repeated for minutes, every time something bigger crashing against the wall.

Silence came after an hour. Shikamaru and Tsunade waited outside the room.

Kakashi emerged from the room, bloody fists hanged at each side of his body. His eyes burned with a thousand fires. Tsunade smiled, finally, some emotion played around those charcoal orbs.

"CLEAN THIS SHIT!" Kakashi roared as he walked down the hall.

"Does he..." Shikamaru pointed at his back.

"He will be alright."

· · · · ·

Kakashi couldn't believe what he had done. Was this part of his plan of becoming a better man?

Positively, it didn't.

He ran his bloody hands around his face, his knuckles ached every time he opened his hands.

Where it was that blonde with her medic skills when he needed her?

Anger blinded his sight. Everything was red, he wanted to smash and destroy things.

He indeed was stupid.

It took him a year to realize he loved her.

And now she was gone.

But when he believed he couldn't be more stupid, he sent that hawk to Suna. Asking, no, demanding her back to Konoha. He didn't care if she didn't love him anymore, he deserved it. But he wouldn't deny his opportunity to prove her wrong, that it was going to work.

They had a future together.

· · · · ·

By the time Tsunade found him on his apartment, his fists were two purplish masses. His breathing was irregular, but his eyes still sparkled with that mischievous look.

"The Kazekage is not happy with your request." Tsunade laughed. "What on earth made you write that letter?"

"I need her back, I don't care if I start the fifth Ninja war."

"Uhm..."

Tsunade smiled. Her hands closed around his when she extended his fingers, a hiss left his lips. She ignored him as her chakra healed all the little fissures around his knuckles.

"What else did the letter said?" Kakashi asked her, his voice cautious.

"Why don't you discover it by yourself?"

Tsunade left his side, letting him see behind her back.

Kakashi gasped.

· · · · ·

Two green eyes observed him carefully.

Tsunade stroke his cheek tenderly before leaving them alone.

Kakashi had a regression, it was like that first time she had spent the night in his place. Her eyes were curious but wary.

"Is it the truth?" her voice was hoarse.

She lifted the scroll he had sent to Suna.

Kakashi nodded.

Tears fell from her face, a thousand emotions overwhelmed her.

"Every single word."

Kakashi tapped his feet nervously, waiting for her reaction. His fingers ached, no longer by the bruises, but by the need of feeling her skin against his.

Kakashi saw a pink glow before a tender body smashed against his. Her hands traveled to his mask, taking it away, revealing what she had missed. He took her in his arms, leveling his face with hers. Tears flooded like rivers down her cheeks, her giggles mixed with cries.

"Oh, Kakashi!" She cried against his lips.

Kakashi wanted to say a lot of things, but his body craved what he had missed for the last twelve months. Every kiss tasted salty, he couldn't tell if it was because of her tears or his.

Kakashi held her tight to his chest, feeling the rhythm of her heart against his, beating as one.

"I'm sorry..." He cried, trailing kisses down her jaw. "I never understood before..."

"Don't..." Sakura took his head between her hands. "I love you."

Kakashi smiled.

"I love you too."

· · · · ·

Kakashi was sure fate was different for everyone. But it didn't mean you couldn't change it. Nothing was written over a stone.

And he was happy about it. He wanted to rewrite his future.

If someone had told him years ago, he would be marrying his former student, he would be laughing about it.

But fate proved him wrong, once again.

Kakashi had been nervous when he saw her walk down the aisle dressed in white. His hands sweated uncontrollably. Genma smiled at him, giving him his handkerchief to dry his hands. He winked at him, assuring him everything would be alright.

And it was.

Until he felt the first kick against Sakura's bump, the little knock against his hand sent shivers down his spine.

Would he be able to do it?

That question kept woking him in the middle of the night, until the day the little creature burst outside Sakura.

When Kakashi arrived at the hospital, he found most of his friends in the waiting room, they congratulated him for having such a beautiful baby.

Kakashi growled. Everyone had seen his baby except him. Kakashi damned the council for keeping him away from that moment. His stupid meetings and last-minute missions could have waited.

Now he was in front of the door, just inches away from Sakura and the offspring of their love.

Kakashi knocked twice before her voice answered him.

"Come in!"

Kakashi walked inside the room, moving in his tiptoes around the bed, the little bump in her arms moved slightly. A glance of silver caught his attention.

"Do you want to hold her?" Sakura offered him the bump. He shook his head.

"Her?"

A drop of cold sweat ran down his neck. A girl? They were expecting a boy. What was he supposed to do with a girl?

Sakura giggled.

"Kakashi, I want to introduce you to Hatake Hayami."

Sakura uncovered the baby on her arms.

When the bump heard her name, she opened her eyes. Two pair of green eyes sparkled, leaving Kakashi breathless.

His world no longer gravitated around him, nor Sakura.

Everything that mattered disappeared, his world had a new reason to live.

Kakashi knew everything would be okay when _their_ baby greeted him, she had been waiting for him.

And for once, fate had smiled at him.


End file.
